steadfast counseling

I am a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor in Illinois. I am physically located in Peoria Illinois but can provide tele-health throughout the state. I believe Therapy should be normalized and that counseling can actually be enjoyable.

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Surrendering to the Freeze Response: Why Slowness is Essential for Emotional Wellness

When we’re experiencing the freeze response, it’s natural to feel compelled to urge our way out of it. But in reality, this can end up prolonging the duration and intensity of the freeze response and stunting our ability to naturally ride that wave of internal activation. Think back to a time when you were a child and feeling overwhelmed in a stressful environment. Maybe someone told you to “hurry up” or “push through it” despite your bodily discomfort. This conditioning can make us believe that we should always be pressing forward, even in moments when we need a break the most.

crop pitiful black woman embracing knees on bed

Are You Keeping Yourself Stuck With Self-Gaslighting? : A Guide to Recognizing and Overcoming Internal Manipulation

you may find yourself always feeling guilty for expressing your emotions, as if you’re being overly dramatic or sensitive. You may even convince yourself that you’re exaggerating your experiences, making mountains out of molehills. It’s like standing in front of a mirror, seeing a tear-streaked face, and telling yourself that you’re only crying because you’re weak, not because you’re genuinely hurting.

people sitting on benches in overcrowded train

Breaking the Silence: Unveiling ‘Tactful Inattention’ and Its Link to the Perpetuation of Abuse

Tactful inattention, as observed in this seemingly ordinary scenario, is the act of remaining silent and overlooking boundary-crossing behaviors to preserve social order and avoid conflict. While this pattern of intentionally turning a blind eye can be fairly innocent on a small scale, this type of behavior can shape the emotional health of an organization or group on a larger and catastrophic scale.

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Why Feeling Exhausted Can Actually Be a Sign of Healing: Understanding Chronic Fatigue and Survival Mode

It’s important to recognize the difference between chronic fatigue within survival mode and exhaustion after overwhelm and limited capacity. Feeling burnt out is different from feeling raw. But when we do feel safe enough that our body craves slowness and rest, we should lean into it. It may feel strange at first to rest when our body is so used to constantly being in survival mode. But this feeling of freedom is what will help us improve our overall well being and change our thinking around self-care.

Finding your Therapist in a Haystack

Finding the right therapist for you is extremely important. This is a person that you will be spending dedicated, prolonged time with, speaking about subjects that are vulnerable. Therapy is most effective when you are able to establish trust and you can feel confident to bring anything to the table without judgement. Unfortunately, many people …

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My Teen Refuses to go to Therapy. Now What?

Its not uncommon that a child will drag their feet or even straight up refuse to go to therapy. In my experience I have found that this is typically due to two things : A misunderstanding of their rights to confidentiality. A misunderstanding of what therapy is like. A child’s understanding of the counseling process …

My Teen Refuses to go to Therapy. Now What? Read More »

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Society’s idea of “self-care” is a load of crap.

Who’s sick of hearing the words “self care”

I think we have self care all wrong- self care should never be used as a tool to increase productivity.

Let me say it again for the people in the back : SELF CARE SHOULD NEVER BE USED AS A TOOL TO INCREASE PRODUCTIVITY!

I’m tired about hearing about not being able to “pour from an empty cup.” This suggests that we can’t be good mothers, wives, employees, supervisors etc. if we don’t take care of ourselves. But that mentality suggests that we need to care for ourselves only to continue to pour out onto everyone else. What if we actually cared for our wellbeing’s and did things that brought us joy because we DESERVE joy? Full stop. Yes- the people around us will reap the benefits of this- but that should be ONE of the benefits – NOT the whole point.